This realization came to me after a recent incident where I found myself packing his lunchbox with a pre-made salad, a fruit cup, and a granola bar. I was trying to be healthy and provide him with a balanced meal, but I ended up creating a meal that was more of a snack than a lunch. This realization sparked a conversation with my child about his lunch preferences.
## Lazy Parenting: What Does It Really Mean? This seemingly counterintuitive approach to parenting has sparked debate, with some praising its benefits for children’s independence and emotional development. However, it’s crucial to understand that “lazy parenting” is not a synonym for neglect. It’s a nuanced approach that encourages parents to let go of certain control and foster independence in their children.
The mom, who is a self-proclaimed “mom influencer,” shares her concerns about the child’s behavior and how it’s impacting her family. The mom’s concerns are centered around the teenager’s social media use, specifically her excessive use of TikTok. The mom expresses that she’s worried about the teenager’s exposure to inappropriate content and the potential for cyberbullying.
This is a hot topic, and there’s a lot of debate surrounding it. Some parents believe that over-parenting can have negative consequences, while others argue that it’s a necessary evil in today’s world. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
This is a crucial step in the process of fostering independence. It’s not just about the sandwich itself, but about teaching your teen how to problem-solve, think critically, and make decisions. For example, if your teen is struggling to choose the right bread, you can guide them through the process.
* **Helicopter parenting:** A parenting style characterized by excessive involvement and control, often leading to anxiety and stress for the child. * **Lawn mower parenting:** A parenting style characterized by excessive focus on providing a smooth and effortless path for the child, often neglecting the child’s development and growth. * **Avoiding these extremes:** The key to effective parenting is finding a balance between helicopter and lawn mower parenting.
This is a common problem in parenting, and it’s often rooted in a desire to protect their children. But, as Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, explains, this can actually be harmful to children’s development. McCready argues that over-parenting can lead to a sense of helplessness and dependence in children.
“It’s important to approach it as a coach and supporter rather than a rescuer. Our role is to guide them through challenges and encourage problem-solving and resilience,” explains McCready. “This way, they learn that it’s OK to ask for help, but they also develop the confidence to tackle tasks on their own.” Hannah Keeley, a parenting expert and master board-certified life coach, suggests parents need to keep their eye out for what she calls “the sweet spot.” “That sweet spot is where the challenge meets the capabilities,” explains Keeley. “When the capabilities exceed the challenge, the result is boredom—most children’s problem today. But when the capabilities fall short of the challenge, that equates to stress. That’s where the parent needs to intervene.”
This is a crucial aspect of child protection, as children are particularly vulnerable to harm and exploitation. They lack the capacity to protect themselves, making it imperative for adults to step in and act as their guardians. The responsibility to protect children is shared by all members of society, not just parents or caregivers.
She adds, “But when kids don’t experience what it’s like to fail, they miss the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and improve for the future.” Hannah Keeley, parenting expert When the capabilities fall short of the challenge, that equates to stress. That’s where the parent needs to intervene. — Hannah Keeley, parenting expert Is ‘Lazy’ the Right Word for Achieving This Parenting Balance? Before departing this topic entirely—and to do it proper justice—the term “lazy parenting” also should be addressed. Because the title lazy doesn’t feel like the right fit here. “Referring to it as ‘lazy parenting’ is funny and self-deprecating,’ but it misses the mark,” says McCready. “What we’re talking about is a more intentional approach to parenting that helps prevent entitlement.”
Stuckey agrees: “The word lazy is defined as unwilling to work. But, I believe, parenting, especially if you are trying to allow your kids to struggle a bit and work through their problems, takes the most work.” Parenting coach Megan Barella emphasizes that taking the steps necessary as a parent to help your children to become independent is quite the opposite of lazy. “As much as TikTok would like us to think, it’s not simply a matter of not doing for our kids what they can do for themselves,” she says. In previous generations, adds Barella, self-sufficiency, self-reliance, and independence were societal norms for young people. Children today, on the other hand, spend more time in scheduled activities like school, after-school, or extra-curricular activities. And when children are home, it’s common for them to be on a device. All of which leaves little time or opportunity for parents to provide guidance and lay the groundwork for independence. It also leaves little time for kids to explore that skill.
“It takes parental presence and patience to teach children life skills. It’s much easier for parents to do things themselves,” says Barella. She suggests that the appropriate term for stepping back more often and allowing your children to do things on their own, so that they can grow and eventually soar, is empowered parenting. Empowering our children with the life skills required to live happy and healthy lives is no small task. “Letting go and fostering children’s independence requires parental thoughtfulness, time, and proactivity—as well as trust in children and in life itself,” adds Barella.